I hadn’t written in such a long time. For maybe 12-months, all blogs and words and poems have been copied and pasted from my notes – all with the exception of some on this site.
But yesterday I felt, for the first time in two years, that I wanted to write. It all came from a place of finally understanding that being scared and angry and in a panic is a route that brings out the worst of us. I know that because those feelings brought out the worst in me,
I see people around me taking to the streets and arming themselves with tools to attack other humans. I saw hate in the eyes of people who have been hand-fed an idea that people opposite of us are out to hurt us – and those people have – perhaps naively – fallen into a trap that has left so much of our country split into groups.
I was angry. I was scared. I felt those feelings for very different reasons and yet still it turned me into somebody who reacted emotionally, not logically, and in the moments I was truly scared it left me feeling like I didn’t know who I was.
My final sentence in the piece I wrote stated that “we are all human beings. We all make mistakes. And if we want a better country, we have to move forward with respect, fairness, and love — not rage and racial blame.”
It’s OK to be scared – but it isn’t right that the fear people feel is then bottled up and used to attack others. All we are doing is creating a world where everybody feels scared, nobody feels safe. When distrust and anger is the guide we use in life, it will be taken advantage of by people who make money and make a name out of anget and hate.
We have to do better.
I realise I have to do better.